dodol...

What do u call someone who consciously repeating the same mistakes over and over again?

Untuk keperluan tulisan ini kita tulis saja dodol.Tentunya ada banyak istilah di luar sana yg lebih tepat dan lebih nendang utk menjawabnya...tapi buat gue dodol pun sepertinya cukup pas. Entah kenapa istilah ini terasa sudah mencakup kebodohan, ke-keraskepala-an dan ketidakpedulian terhadap diri sendiri...

Ya, saat ini gue seringkali menyebut diri dodol...dodol banget bahkan. Entah pentium-nya yg ngadat, atau memang menikmati setiap kebodohan yg terjadi.
Yang pasti gue tau ini harus diakhiri...tapi kok ya niat itu seolah menguap begitu saja saat seharusnya dilakukan...

Seperti prajurit yang kalah sebelum berperang, niat yang sudah dibawa dari rumah hilang entah kemana disaat diperlukan..mungkin juga otak ini secara sadar men-sabotase-nya...entahlah..
Apakah harus hadir yang lain dulu untuk bisa merealisasikan niat menghentikan ke-dodol-an ini?
Ah, kalau begitu pertanyaan selanjutnya adalah dimanakah yang lain itu berada?

make you feel my love

by adele

When the rain is blowing in your face
and the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love..

when the evening shadows and the stars appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love..

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
but I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
no, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love..

the storms are raging on the rolling sea
and on the highway of regret
though winds of change are throwing wild and free
you ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
nothing that I wouldn't do
go to the ends of the Earth for you
to make you feel my love....

gravity

by sara bareilles

Something always brings me back to you
It never takes too long
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free, leave me be.
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall,
just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong
But you touch me for a little while
and all my fragile strength is gone

Set me free, leave me be
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall,
just the way I'm supposed to be
But you're on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees
as I try to make you see that you're everything
I think I need here on the ground
But you're neither friend nor foe
though I can't seem to let you go
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down...

enough. period

When I asked God to keep me away from him, God lets him pushes me away..
God even reveals his true color to me..
which (should I say fortunately?) makes me hate him even more...

Hatred...I know that's bad,
but somehow it gave me new perspective..
a way to see him objectively..
it's hard I know, but somehow God made the whole situation a lot easier for me..

he has this ego overshadowed even the highest mountain in the world
he's hard like the hardest rock in rocky mountain
he enjoys the company of himself more than anything
and I just can't seem to be in his life whatsoever..

.....

kok jadi bingung begini...aneh..aneh..
ironis banget yaa...

sudahlah, gak perlu berpusing-pusing ria..
bukan saat yang tepat untuk jadi drama queen...
atau lebih tepat, sudah bukan waktunya lagi..

gak penting ah...toh, ini sudah berlangsung lama,
bukan berarti segala sesuatunya baik dan mulus,
tapi toh diri ini sudah terlalu lama ditempa untuk terbiasa..
dan memang mau tak mau harus terbiasa...

they say some things are better left unsaid..
i guess they're right.